A poem inspired by my dharma name — On Thursday, I was an empty boat. Nothing fancy. An old rowboat smooth and porous from use. Suspended on still waters, a lake you’d recognize from the cavernous depths of your own mind. In the quiet, I heard Grief tiptoeing around the perimeter of belonging. An unwelcome guest that calls…

Staying Sane (and Maybe Even Spiritual?) During the Coronavirus Lockdown — So it’s the end times. I have to be honest when I say this is not how I expected it would go down. In my fantasy, we’d all be huddled around cozy trash can fire in our fingerless gloves with a single aim: barbecuing small rodents. Maybe that’s a little…

Taking unmet needs into my own capable hands — Allow me to set the scene. I’m watching porn by myself in the near-empty apartment I used to share with my ex. I slip my right hand under the waistband of my pants with a single, deft maneuver. I bite my bottom lip, tense my legs, and go to work. …

What happens when your only solution becomes a problem? — I walked past a bar once and there was a sign out front. In careful chalk lettering it said, According to chemistry, alcohol is a solution. I smiled to myself. I haven’t had a drink in six years but I can always recognize my people. I started drinking as a…

Heartbreak is a trustworthy companion, an honest guide. If I let it, my broken heart carries me home. It leads me back to my real belonging, to my true place in the shape of things. For me, a broken heart is deeply physical. The initial shock like a punch to…

If you saw me mid-breakdown, you might be tempted to cross the street. Yes, there will be snot bubbles and tear-streaked makeup and no, in this moment I don’t care that my face is scaring people into assuming unexpected, new paths to their destinations. The emotional dam of chronic illness…